Black out post

Good night (here) everyone!

I'm here to bring you black out post.

Unfortunatelly not black out of our house,

It'll be too easy.
It looks like whole street is without electricity.

But I have plenty of internet in my cell

(and I pay pretty much and do not use it)

So I'm here...hehe!
(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆

Unfortunatelly again...

I was just about take shower...

(=____=")

And since I go to work at morning

...

I HAD TO TAKE IT!!!

(;A;)

Pretty cold I have to say.

*sigh*

At least my room do not seem that cold anymore

And I can go sleep earlier.

I gonna check last Schwarz Stein.

Finally got it for listen!
＼（＾ ＾）／

But I can share this.

I got tagged while before,

but finally did it now:

My actually 10 favorite Songs 
1. 夜の眼と吟遊詩人 (Yoru no Me to Ginyushijin) - D
2. 終焉 ～宇宙（そら）への回帰～ (Shuuen ~Sora e no kaki~) - D
3. Looooot of other D songs ~
(And lot of Kamijo's songs)~
4. Masquerade - Versailles
5. Twinkle ☆ - 『an』NAGI
6. Inner Universe - Hora (both Versions)
7. Sugar Rose - Kaya
8. PUZZLE - ALSDEAD
9. Meguriai - Gackt
10. Gloria - 摩天楼オペラ (Matenrou opera)

And photo of my dark evening at the end

Good night!

*blow out candles*

Eternal

I'm not sure how to start.

I feel kinda uneasy now to tell the true.

Lately I doubt about who my friends

really are.

Yeah I doubt about those few people

I was always so sure.

Andnow I doubt about myself as well.

Sometimes I do not try to do something.

I admit.

But I'm quite tired of still trying.

It's not like if I want something back.

But see some of people I know

to get something nice even not trying...

...it's makes me kinda sad.

I know that I'm nto good in many things.

Maybe practice gonna make it better.

Maybe.

But again...today I asked myself...

...or better, I thought about leave everything.

Sell my visual kei things, leave my lolita clothing...

Just have more normal life, with less of expectations.

Not from others but from myself.

Now...I know I can not.

It'll be like denying myself.

I can not stop trying.

Sometimes I wish I can.

But leaving all of this because of 

such an selfish reason...

I'll just leave myself.

And I hope I'll not do it.

Learn from the past, 

Look up for the future but

Live now.

I still believe in this,

but I hope I never gonna forget past,

it makes myself what I'm now.

And I'll never give up hoping into future.

 The only day which exists is today.

My life wasn't hard.

I know many people have way worse life than me.

And my life wasn't easy.

Since there are many people having easier life.

But my life is my.
And I love it.

Even with many pain, which will be better to forget.

To everyone I ever met: Thank you.

Maybe I do not try enough

with my life.

With things I like.

But I think I'll never stop to try.

This post is probably pretty mess.

It's my post at all.

I just need to write it.

Since sometimes I want to give up.

I will never give up!
I said it once here,

but I'm serious.

There is one person,

who I own a lot.

Thanks to that person

I start to exist as myself.

I learn how to accept life.

How to accept myself.

I learn and found out many things,

meet many people,

changed my life.

For that person

I want to never give up.

For that person I'm gonna keep struggling

with being myself.

Because from very start he showed me this.

Someone told me that I'm too kind.

That I do lot things for others and get nothing.

I thought about to change.

Maybe I'll.

But sometimes we send our kindness into the world

and any return back,

but sometimes it may just continue from person to person.

 If I don't get my kindness back, but it's given to someone

else, I think I'm okay with this.

I try to not do it for myself.

(Yet sometimes it'll be nice ^^")

Well...I just wanted to thank one person,

and it happened to be this.

*sigh*

If you're that immune to still read it here...

Congratulation.

This one person is very close to my heart.

And I'm and, I hope I even will be

very gratefull to him.

Talking about just one person,

but it considering some more,

which he taught me to love and adore

(and sometimes even hate a little lol)

accept their imperfect but beautiful selfs.

This one person is like symbol.

I cannot look at him and see just him alone.

Today...now, I started to understand,

that all I need to know for life,

he already taught me.

He's my eternal

inspiration

Thanks.

 I hope next time I can tell you.

Personally.

No...I do not hope.

I know it.

Once I'll tell you.

 

Daughtry

Lately in work I got used to one band.
It's Daughtry.

I totally like most of their lyrics.

Yesterday I listen some time

to only one on repeat.

"We're not gonna fall"

Actually I was in really bad mood.

As I wrote previously,

most time it's my own time.
And I already was kinda tired emotionaly

*sign*

I feel kinda better since then.

But here happened funny thing this morning!

My dad got me to the train station.

And as I sat into the car,

I heard familliar start tone.

Exactly same song started to play

in our car.

Well it wasn't radio, but MP3

still it never was on playlist before.

I mean Daughtry at all.

It was strange in nice way.

Travelling

So once again I'm on way to capital.

"Heart of Europe"

I kinda miss Prague of course.

So many memories gather around.

Well...original intentions,

of comming as lolita to the bazaar,

is far forgotten.

So for now it's like visiting people.

Last days were like full of dramas.

Unfortunatelly I have to admit that

mostly from my side.

*sigh*

But lately I feel like I'm slowly

loosing it.

In the end I always feel guitly

for make such a fuss and hurt others.

I don't wanna loose it.

I don't wanna give up.

But more happy I'm about

She still didn't give up with me

after such a moments.

I'm very greatful.

Even that sometimes I do not say.

Yesterday I went to the walk

with Suuto-chan to the forest.
It was very nice.

Suuto-chan on shrooms

Rays of sunset

So up to this weekend.
I found out there're really much of plans!
∑(O_O；)Shock！！

Right after arriving to the main station.
I'll got picked up by girls, 
and then we leave for running sushi.
ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!
 (￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!

There is also challenge
Who's gonna eat more.
If Kyuu or me.
So let's see.

Then some walk and shopping
Later probably teahouse.
And I'm gonna sleep at Kaori once again.

And tomorow that bazaar.
Lolita, Mori, Dolly...etc
So let's see!
o(^^o)(o^^)o

Just quick bathroom shoot

Oh and I somehow
changed my hair style~
Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Wa hime lolita - Final post

It's already year I finished this outfit

I know I should already post it.

But now I finally have some good photos.

I already wore it few times.
For my weekend in Prague with friends

right after I finished it

Also for lolita fashion walk

to represent wa lolita.
It was at the begining of year.

And then when I wisited my

dear Kia in Berlin.

We even made photoshoot there.

Unfortunately she was too busy.

So it took her while to send me photos.

And again unfortunatelly she didn't got

time to edit them.
And I got some problem with it as well.

(software not like I cannot do it.)

But now finally it's done

thanks to Kyuu and I can 

finally post it.

I made this  wa lolita outfit

as variation to hime lolita.

To show even wa lolita

can be fashionable

and not unpopular how

lot of people seems to think.

(mostly because of brands don't offer them)

So hope you gonna enjoy it

 From very start to the top photos~

First design

Final design with fabric

First part: top

It's funny to see myself with red hair

With hem

Skirt ruffle

Back ruffle

Top and top skirt before sewing together

Lace on hem

Finishing "obi"

Whole outfit

And acessories~

And now dressed on!

Selfie~

On fashion walk

Only photo I can post here =___=

And here side view~ XDDD

And final selfie at home...

But my mom just told me that
my brown wig does not suit me.
I was too lazy to design it.

So now my photoshoot
with my dear Kia Rose in Berlin.
Edit by Q
Thank you my dears~ ♡
Black wig on!

Kia Rose
Vampire Symphony
Kia on DA (mostly her drawings)

Q
Q on FB
Q on DA

Design and "model" by me

Summer end~

Another convention is succesfully behind.

I'm gonna post later when I'll download all photos.

But for me it was one of most awesome ones.

Even that I still miss some...

...my company was awesome!!!

Lately mornings start to be cold, don't you think?

Well...summer wasn't THAT hot after all, but still.

And the cold air and foggy mornings~

Fall came into our days...

I'll enjoy it as much as I can!

Since fall...I love fall.

Fall came into our days but not into our hearts~

In my heart it's like second spring during year...

スキスキスキ～♡

I have some minor plans for this fall.
But first I have to manage new plan in work... (=___=")

Probably 3 days 15 hours every week...

I'm gonna die.

Also with new hair comming to my house

I realized there is no more room if it stays like this.

So lil reorganization.

And then I can start with everything.

I'll bring it to life and hope it'll survive!
So let's see!!!

Maybe you can call me happy

for many reasons.

But if you ask me directly...

I'll probably say

"I finally feel alive only~"

He's gonna be happy ♡

But my lil Kitsunehito stayed in Prague

(;A;)
I already miss him.

But I think he's doing good.

Awww...now I wanna exchange with him (lol)

I think that for now that's all I probably wanted to write.

I should add some picture...

So...here and enjoy~

Asagi's post

I just read it.

I cannot say I'm surprised

as well I cannot say I'm not surprised.

But I can understand him.

Every thing have it's time to end, leave, die.

Every moment have to end.

That's what makes things so precious to us.

Knowing the things will never end

we'll never enjoy a moment,

just put it further

"I'll do it later."

I'll enjoy this moment later.

You never will.

Yesterday was 9th of August.

I'll never stop regret I moved it to later.

It was great lesson in my life.

I don't wanna regret moving something to later

or not do something in the end.

I never wanna feel same regret.

You have to accept that everything have

time to end.

Even if it's your most favorite band.

Just be glad for the time you enjoyed them.

For the whiles they supported you.

For every single song.

No one still said D gonna end.

I'm not saying either.

Maybe he just feel sadness.

Since his beloved Minya which

 spend many years with him

passed not so long before, to me

it seemed he just pushed sadness away for moment.

When something you love

disappear, no one said you should not be sad.

I believe sadness and understanding 

are both important.

Without beying sad you'll not show

how much you it meant to you.

I should say I'm very happy he wrote this.

Since after he made his vampires totally immortal

and impossible to really kill,

I was afraid of him.

But now I'm way calmer.

I can see Asagi is wise man.

But also he should know

there is no reason to push things

to earlier end.

And I hope he know it.

After many many years...

Asagi was still able to get more of my respect

and honestly surprise me.

I'm proud of you.