Black out post

Good night (here) everyone!

I'm here to bring you black out post.

Unfortunatelly not black out of our house,

It'll be too easy.
It looks like whole street is without electricity.

But I have plenty of internet in my cell

(and I pay pretty much and do not use it)

So I'm here...hehe!
(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆

Unfortunatelly again...

I was just about take shower...

(=____=")

And since I go to work at morning

...

I HAD TO TAKE IT!!!

(;A;)

Pretty cold I have to say.

*sigh*

At least my room do not seem that cold anymore

And I can go sleep earlier.

I gonna check last Schwarz Stein.

Finally got it for listen!
＼（＾ ＾）／

But I can share this.

I got tagged while before,

but finally did it now:

My actually 10 favorite Songs 
1. 夜の眼と吟遊詩人 (Yoru no Me to Ginyushijin) - D
2. 終焉 ～宇宙（そら）への回帰～ (Shuuen ~Sora e no kaki~) - D
3. Looooot of other D songs ~
(And lot of Kamijo's songs)~
4. Masquerade - Versailles
5. Twinkle ☆ - 『an』NAGI
6. Inner Universe - Hora (both Versions)
7. Sugar Rose - Kaya
8. PUZZLE - ALSDEAD
9. Meguriai - Gackt
10. Gloria - 摩天楼オペラ (Matenrou opera)

And photo of my dark evening at the end

Good night!

*blow out candles*

Eternal

I'm not sure how to start.

I feel kinda uneasy now to tell the true.

Lately I doubt about who my friends

really are.

Yeah I doubt about those few people

I was always so sure.

Andnow I doubt about myself as well.

Sometimes I do not try to do something.

I admit.

But I'm quite tired of still trying.

It's not like if I want something back.

But see some of people I know

to get something nice even not trying...

...it's makes me kinda sad.

I know that I'm nto good in many things.

Maybe practice gonna make it better.

Maybe.

But again...today I asked myself...

...or better, I thought about leave everything.

Sell my visual kei things, leave my lolita clothing...

Just have more normal life, with less of expectations.

Not from others but from myself.

Now...I know I can not.

It'll be like denying myself.

I can not stop trying.

Sometimes I wish I can.

But leaving all of this because of 

such an selfish reason...

I'll just leave myself.

And I hope I'll not do it.

Learn from the past, 

Look up for the future but

Live now.

I still believe in this,

but I hope I never gonna forget past,

it makes myself what I'm now.

And I'll never give up hoping into future.

 The only day which exists is today.

My life wasn't hard.

I know many people have way worse life than me.

And my life wasn't easy.

Since there are many people having easier life.

But my life is my.
And I love it.

Even with many pain, which will be better to forget.

To everyone I ever met: Thank you.

Maybe I do not try enough

with my life.

With things I like.

But I think I'll never stop to try.

This post is probably pretty mess.

It's my post at all.

I just need to write it.

Since sometimes I want to give up.

I will never give up!
I said it once here,

but I'm serious.

There is one person,

who I own a lot.

Thanks to that person

I start to exist as myself.

I learn how to accept life.

How to accept myself.

I learn and found out many things,

meet many people,

changed my life.

For that person

I want to never give up.

For that person I'm gonna keep struggling

with being myself.

Because from very start he showed me this.

Someone told me that I'm too kind.

That I do lot things for others and get nothing.

I thought about to change.

Maybe I'll.

But sometimes we send our kindness into the world

and any return back,

but sometimes it may just continue from person to person.

 If I don't get my kindness back, but it's given to someone

else, I think I'm okay with this.

I try to not do it for myself.

(Yet sometimes it'll be nice ^^")

Well...I just wanted to thank one person,

and it happened to be this.

*sigh*

If you're that immune to still read it here...

Congratulation.

This one person is very close to my heart.

And I'm and, I hope I even will be

very gratefull to him.

Talking about just one person,

but it considering some more,

which he taught me to love and adore

(and sometimes even hate a little lol)

accept their imperfect but beautiful selfs.

This one person is like symbol.

I cannot look at him and see just him alone.

Today...now, I started to understand,

that all I need to know for life,

he already taught me.

He's my eternal

inspiration

Thanks.

 I hope next time I can tell you.

Personally.

No...I do not hope.

I know it.

Once I'll tell you.