Alarm

 Well...

seems like my awesome four-combo Satsuki alarm 

was pretty good idea, since my

cell phone ringing and alarm data

was somehow deleted,

(by me accidentaly and I know it)

I decided to change them.

(even because I already don't remember my

alarm tone, but for call it was Symmetry Breaking)

Today was first testing morning.

I'm not really sure what was the reason...

...but I overslept.

I'll probably blame lat of the

four-combo songs.
Romance.
(or another full working day @.@)

I think I enjoyed and listened it too much.

lol

So...

...have a nice day~
Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Black out post

Good night (here) everyone!

I'm here to bring you black out post.

Unfortunatelly not black out of our house,

It'll be too easy.
It looks like whole street is without electricity.

But I have plenty of internet in my cell

(and I pay pretty much and do not use it)

So I'm here...hehe!
(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆

Unfortunatelly again...

I was just about take shower...

(=____=")

And since I go to work at morning

...

I HAD TO TAKE IT!!!

(;A;)

Pretty cold I have to say.

*sigh*

At least my room do not seem that cold anymore

And I can go sleep earlier.

I gonna check last Schwarz Stein.

Finally got it for listen!
＼（＾ ＾）／

But I can share this.

I got tagged while before,

but finally did it now:

My actually 10 favorite Songs 
1. 夜の眼と吟遊詩人 (Yoru no Me to Ginyushijin) - D
2. 終焉 ～宇宙（そら）への回帰～ (Shuuen ~Sora e no kaki~) - D
3. Looooot of other D songs ~
(And lot of Kamijo's songs)~
4. Masquerade - Versailles
5. Twinkle ☆ - 『an』NAGI
6. Inner Universe - Hora (both Versions)
7. Sugar Rose - Kaya
8. PUZZLE - ALSDEAD
9. Meguriai - Gackt
10. Gloria - 摩天楼オペラ (Matenrou opera)

And photo of my dark evening at the end

Good night!

*blow out candles*

Eternal

I'm not sure how to start.

I feel kinda uneasy now to tell the true.

Lately I doubt about who my friends

really are.

Yeah I doubt about those few people

I was always so sure.

Andnow I doubt about myself as well.

Sometimes I do not try to do something.

I admit.

But I'm quite tired of still trying.

It's not like if I want something back.

But see some of people I know

to get something nice even not trying...

...it's makes me kinda sad.

I know that I'm nto good in many things.

Maybe practice gonna make it better.

Maybe.

But again...today I asked myself...

...or better, I thought about leave everything.

Sell my visual kei things, leave my lolita clothing...

Just have more normal life, with less of expectations.

Not from others but from myself.

Now...I know I can not.

It'll be like denying myself.

I can not stop trying.

Sometimes I wish I can.

But leaving all of this because of 

such an selfish reason...

I'll just leave myself.

And I hope I'll not do it.

Learn from the past, 

Look up for the future but

Live now.

I still believe in this,

but I hope I never gonna forget past,

it makes myself what I'm now.

And I'll never give up hoping into future.

 The only day which exists is today.

My life wasn't hard.

I know many people have way worse life than me.

And my life wasn't easy.

Since there are many people having easier life.

But my life is my.
And I love it.

Even with many pain, which will be better to forget.

To everyone I ever met: Thank you.

Maybe I do not try enough

with my life.

With things I like.

But I think I'll never stop to try.

This post is probably pretty mess.

It's my post at all.

I just need to write it.

Since sometimes I want to give up.

I will never give up!
I said it once here,

but I'm serious.

There is one person,

who I own a lot.

Thanks to that person

I start to exist as myself.

I learn how to accept life.

How to accept myself.

I learn and found out many things,

meet many people,

changed my life.

For that person

I want to never give up.

For that person I'm gonna keep struggling

with being myself.

Because from very start he showed me this.

Someone told me that I'm too kind.

That I do lot things for others and get nothing.

I thought about to change.

Maybe I'll.

But sometimes we send our kindness into the world

and any return back,

but sometimes it may just continue from person to person.

 If I don't get my kindness back, but it's given to someone

else, I think I'm okay with this.

I try to not do it for myself.

(Yet sometimes it'll be nice ^^")

Well...I just wanted to thank one person,

and it happened to be this.

*sigh*

If you're that immune to still read it here...

Congratulation.

This one person is very close to my heart.

And I'm and, I hope I even will be

very gratefull to him.

Talking about just one person,

but it considering some more,

which he taught me to love and adore

(and sometimes even hate a little lol)

accept their imperfect but beautiful selfs.

This one person is like symbol.

I cannot look at him and see just him alone.

Today...now, I started to understand,

that all I need to know for life,

he already taught me.

He's my eternal

inspiration

Thanks.

 I hope next time I can tell you.

Personally.

No...I do not hope.

I know it.

Once I'll tell you.

 

Daughtry

Lately in work I got used to one band.
It's Daughtry.

I totally like most of their lyrics.

Yesterday I listen some time

to only one on repeat.

"We're not gonna fall"

Actually I was in really bad mood.

As I wrote previously,

most time it's my own time.
And I already was kinda tired emotionaly

*sign*

I feel kinda better since then.

But here happened funny thing this morning!

My dad got me to the train station.

And as I sat into the car,

I heard familliar start tone.

Exactly same song started to play

in our car.

Well it wasn't radio, but MP3

still it never was on playlist before.

I mean Daughtry at all.

It was strange in nice way.

Travelling

So once again I'm on way to capital.

"Heart of Europe"

I kinda miss Prague of course.

So many memories gather around.

Well...original intentions,

of comming as lolita to the bazaar,

is far forgotten.

So for now it's like visiting people.

Last days were like full of dramas.

Unfortunatelly I have to admit that

mostly from my side.

*sigh*

But lately I feel like I'm slowly

loosing it.

In the end I always feel guitly

for make such a fuss and hurt others.

I don't wanna loose it.

I don't wanna give up.

But more happy I'm about

She still didn't give up with me

after such a moments.

I'm very greatful.

Even that sometimes I do not say.

Yesterday I went to the walk

with Suuto-chan to the forest.
It was very nice.

Suuto-chan on shrooms

Rays of sunset

So up to this weekend.
I found out there're really much of plans!
∑(O_O；)Shock！！

Right after arriving to the main station.
I'll got picked up by girls, 
and then we leave for running sushi.
ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!
 (￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!

There is also challenge
Who's gonna eat more.
If Kyuu or me.
So let's see.

Then some walk and shopping
Later probably teahouse.
And I'm gonna sleep at Kaori once again.

And tomorow that bazaar.
Lolita, Mori, Dolly...etc
So let's see!
o(^^o)(o^^)o

Just quick bathroom shoot

Oh and I somehow
changed my hair style~
Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Wa hime lolita - Final post

It's already year I finished this outfit

I know I should already post it.

But now I finally have some good photos.

I already wore it few times.
For my weekend in Prague with friends

right after I finished it

Also for lolita fashion walk

to represent wa lolita.
It was at the begining of year.

And then when I wisited my

dear Kia in Berlin.

We even made photoshoot there.

Unfortunately she was too busy.

So it took her while to send me photos.

And again unfortunatelly she didn't got

time to edit them.
And I got some problem with it as well.

(software not like I cannot do it.)

But now finally it's done

thanks to Kyuu and I can 

finally post it.

I made this  wa lolita outfit

as variation to hime lolita.

To show even wa lolita

can be fashionable

and not unpopular how

lot of people seems to think.

(mostly because of brands don't offer them)

So hope you gonna enjoy it

 From very start to the top photos~

First design

Final design with fabric

First part: top

It's funny to see myself with red hair

With hem

Skirt ruffle

Back ruffle

Top and top skirt before sewing together

Lace on hem

Finishing "obi"

Whole outfit

And acessories~

And now dressed on!

Selfie~

On fashion walk

Only photo I can post here =___=

And here side view~ XDDD

And final selfie at home...

But my mom just told me that
my brown wig does not suit me.
I was too lazy to design it.

So now my photoshoot
with my dear Kia Rose in Berlin.
Edit by Q
Thank you my dears~ ♡
Black wig on!

Kia Rose
Vampire Symphony
Kia on DA (mostly her drawings)

Q
Q on FB
Q on DA

Design and "model" by me

Summer end~

Another convention is succesfully behind.

I'm gonna post later when I'll download all photos.

But for me it was one of most awesome ones.

Even that I still miss some...

...my company was awesome!!!

Lately mornings start to be cold, don't you think?

Well...summer wasn't THAT hot after all, but still.

And the cold air and foggy mornings~

Fall came into our days...

I'll enjoy it as much as I can!

Since fall...I love fall.

Fall came into our days but not into our hearts~

In my heart it's like second spring during year...

スキスキスキ～♡

I have some minor plans for this fall.
But first I have to manage new plan in work... (=___=")

Probably 3 days 15 hours every week...

I'm gonna die.

Also with new hair comming to my house

I realized there is no more room if it stays like this.

So lil reorganization.

And then I can start with everything.

I'll bring it to life and hope it'll survive!
So let's see!!!

Maybe you can call me happy

for many reasons.

But if you ask me directly...

I'll probably say

"I finally feel alive only~"

He's gonna be happy ♡

But my lil Kitsunehito stayed in Prague

(;A;)
I already miss him.

But I think he's doing good.

Awww...now I wanna exchange with him (lol)

I think that for now that's all I probably wanted to write.

I should add some picture...

So...here and enjoy~

Asagi's post

I just read it.

I cannot say I'm surprised

as well I cannot say I'm not surprised.

But I can understand him.

Every thing have it's time to end, leave, die.

Every moment have to end.

That's what makes things so precious to us.

Knowing the things will never end

we'll never enjoy a moment,

just put it further

"I'll do it later."

I'll enjoy this moment later.

You never will.

Yesterday was 9th of August.

I'll never stop regret I moved it to later.

It was great lesson in my life.

I don't wanna regret moving something to later

or not do something in the end.

I never wanna feel same regret.

You have to accept that everything have

time to end.

Even if it's your most favorite band.

Just be glad for the time you enjoyed them.

For the whiles they supported you.

For every single song.

No one still said D gonna end.

I'm not saying either.

Maybe he just feel sadness.

Since his beloved Minya which

 spend many years with him

passed not so long before, to me

it seemed he just pushed sadness away for moment.

When something you love

disappear, no one said you should not be sad.

I believe sadness and understanding 

are both important.

Without beying sad you'll not show

how much you it meant to you.

I should say I'm very happy he wrote this.

Since after he made his vampires totally immortal

and impossible to really kill,

I was afraid of him.

But now I'm way calmer.

I can see Asagi is wise man.

But also he should know

there is no reason to push things

to earlier end.

And I hope he know it.

After many many years...

Asagi was still able to get more of my respect

and honestly surprise me.

I'm proud of you.

Summer anime convention No.02 - ADVík 2014

So once again I decided to attend ADVík.
For the 5th time year.
Although I said it'll be last time, last year.

But I kept it in secret for nearly everyone.
Reason?
I don't know exactly...

Maybe some kind of saving my nerves.

Everyone may ask about my Gakupo cosplay.

About presentations.

I don't know.

Kaori and her wings!

Of all 4 days I attend just 3 of them, 

but still I joined it.
Thursday I arrived to Ayame's house,

meet her mom and wish her safe trip, 

since she went off to weekend.

Till the night we practiced duet which

we should sang together.

Unfortunatelly Ayame's throath condition

went even worse so we didn't sing it at all.

Even worse thing was that for some reason

I didn't practiced my song enough.

As I heard record...

It wasn't THAT bad.
But Kaori is right.
I can do it BETTER!

But whole day started with.
"Thank you Ayame for waking me up for the

karaoke check and practice I should be there."
Now thinking about it...she wasn't even little bit sorry.

I think about it since she's still angry for one thing.

Thus I never was angry for this and I love singing and wanna be there.

No...I'm not that generous.

Thing is...I was able to get there even without it.

Even that it was obligate!
*sigh*

Sorry just a little thought...

Awesome Slovakian Rosiel!!! (*o*)

But That day I met many many people.

Some people again after some time.

Some people again after very long time!
Some people for first time!
But it seemed we all had fun!

Bunch of my slovakian friends I start to adore so much.

Cosplay of Trip came to me and was like.
"Hello! Do you remember me?"
"I have no clue who you're honestly!" (O.o)"
"Yui from Jupiter concert!"
"OMG...you look totally different!"
She looked so awesome!!!
Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Hime first day I met her!!! (*o*)

Then I met hime and she was gorgeous as always!
Everyday in awesome gown~

I simply love her designs!

Love v(*￣▽￣*)〃▽〃)Love 

 And then I met someone very interesting.

Immediatelly caught my eye.

Perfect for molesting!

（￣～￣;）

ﾋﾟｭｰｯ!≡≡≡ﾍ(*ﾟ∇ﾟ)ﾉ 

(ノﾟДﾟ)メ（＾∀＾）ノ  

 

（。_°☆＼（- - ） バシっ！

☆⌒(＞。≪)イタイ

Σ(ﾟ∀´(┗┐ヽ(･∀･ )ﾉ 

~(>_<。)＼ イタタ

I was kicked, beaten with a micro etc...

As always...most agressive prey at all con.

My secret ability!

Thus it usually means the most interesting

person there!!!

（￣～￣;） 

Kent and Lena...oh...Lena and Kent!!! (^o^")

We went to the photoshooting following
Kent, Lena and Kyuu...

Was fun!!!
Kyuu did really great poses while photoshooting!!!

But as a photographer!!!

(Kyuu gonna kill me!!!)
(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!

I say nothing...rather! (OoO")

It followed even with me joined! >:D

I think I'm dead...Kyuu gonna kill me...

I should say something to defend me!

For these photos.

Yet I have feeling it'll make it even worse!

So I keep quiet...I'm not here!

(OxO)

But it all was fun.

Also during a day I met my friend which made

music themed presentation.

This time after another dissagreedment with rules

I decided to not take any.

Unfortunatelly he asked us for make him

spare program with playing at least some PVs!

Here came the problem!
I didn't have my HDD with me.
PC without internet,

withou wifi so I cannot share my cellphone internet.

Thanks god JR was here!!!
(my fav org from last year~)

 Came with USB and we saved it!!!

I got little bit angry since girl which had that presentation,

and cannot make it due her health state,

came to se spare program of HER PRESENTATION!

In cosplay...seriously?

｡･"(＞0＜)"･｡ﾝﾓｫ〜 

Later I told her, what I think of it.

I'm not someone who just shut their mouth,

when I don't like something.

Especially when she didn't have another

of her presentation jsut next day.

But we already was prepared since 

friend asked me to make some presentation.

I made brand new Jupiter - Kamijo one.

Well...it went little bit...uhm...wasn't perfect.

I had just a little info on paper...

and Ayame left it at home! 

(＊__ _｡)ﾉｷﾐﾜノ ヽ``┼┐ﾃﾞｽｶ? 

You kidding me? (;A;) 

Hime another day, still gorgeous.

Okay...as I said that I make no presentations...
(And my mom remembered me I did yesterday! lol)

...I cannot say no, when I'm savior!!!

(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!

So...it's already second day I'm talking about.

 To much themes one over other *sigh*

That day I went as a Gakupo that day.

Some friends said they go as well.

And I took that "Samurai version"

There I have to say that Ayame

did really good job with my make up!

I really liked my angry eyebrow
（｀ー´）

 "Hey you look so angry today! What's up!"
"It's just way my eyebrow is delineated!"

Hehehe...

Also my "hunt" continued.

But I was honestly little bit dissapointed

when heard that it's last day my prey was there.

Okay...maybe little bit more.

(_　_|||) 

I don't like when it don't goes 

according to my plans!

Yet I don't think it end up bad at all.

Chrome Hearts lady Munamu...with garbage! >:D

I met Munamu after very long time!
She looked great with pink hair!
And my BFF Maki!!! (lol)

 I still don't get why we while sitting don't and talking

still talked about work!
(=____=")

 We grew toooooo old!

(=___=")

Also Munamu's throat condition wasn't very good.

Whe have long termed problems with it,

poor thing.

So I offered her to send me her presentation for Mejibray

and I will just read it.

 We told it to the music part org as before.

Everything seemed okay.

We again went photoshooting with

same crew!
Holding photographer on arms?

Σ(・ω・ノ)ノ!ｗ 

OF COURSE I HAD TO PROVE

I CAN DO IT AS WELL!!!

It wasn't really that easy (=___='')
Kyuu's platforms was really heavy!

ヾ(＾∇＾)
No, really...just my wig, kimoo and platforms...

Not really perfect for such a thing, but I did it!!!

It was thing about my pride!!!

But it was still "Don't tremble!" (=___=")

"Put your sleeve away!" (=___=")

"Don't move!" (=___=")

"Stay still!" (=___=")

AWWWWWWWwwwww...

And then others told me 

KYUU WAS ALL TIME LAUGHTING ON MY BACK!!!

Pfff...

＼(>o<)／

Hahaha...funny...

You see this?! Not even smile! Why laugh on MY back?

Later we just talk a lot and I had fun.

It have lot to do with the previous post.

So no need to write more.

And yes I made Ayame angry.

I have to admit I care less and less as I write all this.

We got Aiko and Kaori to sleepover at Ayame's.

Wasn't that fun as it should be.

Ayame angry on me, should make presentation

that she should already have, since got

months of time for it!!!

Also we should create dolly kei outfit

for fashion walk for my other friend.
Lot of her models excused themselves.

Sucks...

Ayame's selfie with Kyuu...I wonder where is mine! (=__=')

And here again I'm gonna be killed!
I should defend myself, but still...

...oh no! Kyuu have such a cute smile when showing teeth!!! (;A;)
Kyuu you're very kyuute!
Please forgive me! (TT^TT)

But she just sit there and play videos of Nu'est

to those two poor things.

"Ayame!"
"Ayame!"
"Ayame!"
I told her every 5 minutes that she said

we'll make outfit and then finished presentation,

not play damn videos.

Later at least Kaori seemed to have happy while

with two Ayame's kittens.

And me and Aiko laughed hard about

vk pictures and Gackt's video with Kiryu Shou!

Also even before we came home I was like.

"Let's check Munamu's presentation!"

There was NOTHING!!! on my mail.

Called her.

Wrote her.

No response.

At morning also.
Of course I was p*ssed.

Ayame forced me to at least download some videos.

At morning I got bad mood.

Because of the presentation.

And then also because of her whinning.

 Self pitting.

I screwed her, really.

I cannot hold it in me anymore.

Finally arrived to place.

Went for the fashion walk check.

Waited there.

Try to get in touch with Munamu whom wrote me.

"I'm sorry I felt asleep!"

ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ 

SERIOUSLY???

But message from Kyuu made me calmer...

...till while I went to Ayame tell her

"Please say to Ayame..." part.

No...really...she got me again.

I got angry again, wanted to tell her something.

Then I just waved my hand and walked away.

That was morning without Ayame.

After those two days so peacefull.

I spend it with hime at her workshop.

I was her folding fan,

went for food and drink for Kent, Lena and some others

who attend.
Hime said she's not hungry.

But I brought her curry.

I knew she loved me at that while!!!
(￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!

Even with quote:
"Some young blond aristocrat send you this."
(since I got still Gakupo wig XD)

It was really so nice and calm.

Saved another people presentation since I lend them

my HDD so they can move it from notebook to PC.

And I found mirror at workshop class!!! >:D

In the end I didn't got Munamu's presentation.

She wrote something about "Cannot be send." 

Or something.

Plan B...or D? dunno

Which of my presentation I can use and don't need to change it?!

D...no way!
Fifth year in row! Kill me please.

Kaya, changes...everything neede changes.

Except!!!

Of course!
My nearly legendary...two times presented!!!
(or three?)

Visual Kei styles!
Yes!
I'll do this!!!

*heavenly radiance everywhere*

I HAVE NO NOTES FOR IT!!!

∑(O_O；)Shock！！

Luckily I had...I think last year version

So never PVs etc.

I did it!!!

I still remembered everything as it went one by one!

(~-~;)ヾ(-_-;)

I thought I'll cry in happiness.

Okay I forgot two or three things!
Minor ones.

But I remembered later!

And also it was two hours presentation...

I put into one only!!!

*tears of happiness*

But my audience was awesome.

I was glad they came even 

that it was announced just 2-3 hours before!

Also one boy came to me

asked me if there is presentation

 for downloading somewhere. 

Since I do minimalistic presentations

with just few text and pictures.

 

 So I promised him to write it on his mail.

But I heard more people

will like to have it.

So I think about make it here on blog online.

Bilingual.

Both English and Czech.

So it'll take me some time maybe.

Fane came to see us even before fashion walk

and our presentations.

And after everything we made

SUSHI PICNIC!!!

Yeeeeeeey!!!

ｳｨｰｯ へ((￣ー￣*))))....〜〜((((*￣ー￣))ﾉ ﾋｯｸ

I still owe you Paris post and rock festival one.

Week of working is comming.

And just month till next convention.

But somehow I feel like I gained new power!

（＾＿－）☆wink

I do not promise you anything!

But I hope I can do it!!!

ヾ(*≧∇≦)おやすみいーっ(≧∇≦*)ﾉ