Me and roleplay

In life I often feel sad.

Because of many reasons.

But when I play roleplay with her I'm happy.

I know it's not real, but I feel real there.

I cry and laugh behind the monitor,

because of our story.

It's not ideal world.

Even story it's full of difficulties.

I feel happy to play that young cute boy, 

which is feeling like a girl and like flirting...

went throught sad parts of life,

Was cheated and nearly killed his twin brother,

But still had friends who supported them,

and even when he didn't want to search for new love,

he found it.

It's still not end of the story,

if there ever be end...most probably not.

But I love that boy.

My little Mii-chan.

I felt his suffering and even his happiness.

I cried as he did when his brother woke up finally.

My heart beated fast when he fell in love.

It may be childlish and strange,

but this inner world of mine and hers mean lot.

Started as a small break between our looooong stories,

became even greater in no time.

But it's not only my Mii-chan.

I feel like this often.

Try to not lost any of my roleplays.

Also very often they remind me of my own life.
Not reflecting it

Sometimes I just remember what happened or what I did when I wrote this or that.

Because not everytime we sat infront of our PCs.

If I want or not (and I do)

roleplaying is something which gives me meaning.

When I was younger I wanted to write stories.

Like this I do.

It's not like writers do, but since there're two of us,

sometimes we came with very awesome ideas.

You can call our stories silly.

Maybe they're, but we're not.

Silly people don't write thousands and thousands pages

by such a stories.

We did.

Maybe I'm not writer as I wanted, but I still feel good like this.

With my stories I'm sure I made two people happy.

Maybe two are not so much,

but I can bet for those two at least,

don't you think so?

Sometimes we didn't even chat about personal things.

Well sometimes it wasn't good.

But sometimes I was like

"I feel down. Some Mii-chan will make me better if you like."

I'm not everytime like she's.

Because her taste sometimes it's so...

Hm...melancholic and heavy...

And I can try but know I'll not play on 100%

But to tell the true I feel bad then.

That I wasn't able to play what she want.

But I hope she understand.

She know me for long.

And somehow I think that better than I know her.

(shame on me =___=")

I met her on roleplay.

For long years one of my very good friends.

And not only her.

Since one spring day~
I met someone who changed my life
and I think that forever.

Now reading our old chats,

even those were like roleplay.

*giggle*

It's that special type of person, who'll never really leave you.

Who if they go where ever, they'll still be with you.

I'm sure that some of my friends gonna be same,

just maybe it's not time yet.

This was like it from very start

and it'll be till very end.

Because till we meet again...

we'll always be together.

Blooming sakuras are sad,

in buddhism are falling sakura's petals symbol of death.

I very often feel it same, for many reasons.

(X is silly reason, but still reason)

But also it's one of most happy moment in my life.

Sometimes it's hard to watch blooming trees 

and feel tears of sadness and happiness together in your eyes.

Why do I like Mii-chan that much?
He's cute boy, who is in some ways strong, but need someone

to protect him as well.

He acts silly and childlish sometimes.

Just because he's like this.

He's being himself.

Because his family, and friends love him like that.

He can be everything I was never able to be.

Simply because I cannot afford it.

Because beying like this will mean,

that people will hurt me even more.

 But I can be like it, when I play.

I played way more type of persons.

And if you play with such a passion and put your life in it,

it'll put it's life into you.

 Why do I love roleplaying?

Not because I wanna be god and rule.

But because every my character I created 

or cocreated is piece of me.

 And I'm piece of them.

Now it's all better.
So maybe I can go sleep.

お(^о^〃)や(^О^〃)しゅ(^。^〃)みぃ(^-^〃)♪